I have been working with the question "What Am I" solid for about 2 1/2 weeks now. The more I do it the more things in "reality" start going down hill. It's been a wonderful catalyst for sure, but I would like to know if this is normal. My biggest, deepest, darkest fears are surfacing in reality. I feel the need to stay away from others more and more because I can feel their "stuff". So I have been isolating more and more.
Does it happen this way? I have moments of intense joy and bliss but I also have moments of intense anger and fear. I know I have more agflap because of the intense anger and fear.
I have also heard Lester speak on his tapes that "as much as there are people on this world, there are the same number of ways of going free".
Also, when Buddha sat under the Bodhi tree to realise his own true nature, all sorts of inner demons rose to the surface. I have also heard from almost all spiritual teachers that there will be both ups and down, it is not wise to cling on to the good only. "This too shall pass", both the great and the worst, but your awareness remains. If we could just identify ourselves with the awareness, which doesn't judge nor push anything away, even the agflap, everything would be just fine. Until then, just keep in mind that in time both your ups and your lows will get higher 